October 29, 2011
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“the people who truly love you….who are truly your friends do not abandon you when you make grave mistakes. When you fall down they don’t leave you there. When you are hurt, they are hurt. The people who will be your partners, the girl who will be your partner will not measure you to some standard but they will see the hope of your calling and want to help you to reach it. They will believe in you, and as a consequence you will believe in yourself because of it.
You are coming out of a dark place, realizing that all men are weak and fallen. Don’t let your selfishness and foolishness cause you to sit down in defeat. But rise up past your fears and press forward knowing that if you are willing to try I will help you to get to your destination. You don’t have to be perfect,but willing. That said, do not let anyone put your value on what you do, or what career you have chosen or how much money you make…..only on whether or not they see the real you and are willing to help you reach that destination. Anyone who puts you in that place again is unworthy of you, not you of them.
In short….you have less issues and problems than you think you do. In reality, they are the ones with the problems. So stop blaming and hurting yourself and believe in Me. And believe the best about My Intentions for you. As for these words and these people…..leave them behind and trust me……better things are ahead.”
I will follow you to the end Lord. Better who you are than who they are. Better your presence than performance. Better those that value me for me than those who see me as worthless and incapable. I will stay with you.
“Don’t blame them for their heart…..It is natural of men to think that way. Just respond to a higher call and a higher valuing by your Lord.”
October 20, 2011
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sometimes, it is not about winning or losing but paying the cost that a relationship requires going forward. Sometimes you cannot help but look stupid, but sometimes the investment required in furthering a relationship requires you to look stupid. Are you willing to pay the cost of loving someone else. Even if it humbles your pride? Some people and some things are worth being brought low, going through stress and failure. Why? Because they are valuable and worth the sacrifice.
Even more than that, you may not receive anything in return for that sacrifice and humiliation….but it still may be worth it to do so anyway. What you gain: What you learn from the experience and what development you get from the journey may grow you in maturity 10-20 years in a short period of time, even though it may be emotionally painful at the time. You have to be willing to love anyway and stay true to the course God has placed you on. It’s not all sweetness and light on this journey, and sometimes you need the pain in order to deepen your perspective.
“Just don’t wallow in it. There is a place for pain, but also for joy and happiness. Don’t live in those dark places, even though you must visit them. Only stay a course if I tell you to do so….but also have enough sense to get away from relationships that are not healthy or helping you. But valuable relationships that have some pain to them are good.
Be Thankful for what you have had, and the road you have traveled. It is much better than it seems. The problem comes when you have a bunch of expectations you get into your heart and head. Then you are spending your energy and time dealing with THAT instead of going forward into the purposes I have called you forth for. You may actually doubt this, but you have done much better at these things than you give yourself credit for. People have a much better opinion of you than you have of yourself and you are far less the problem than the answer. it just doesn’t seem like that at the moment. Be willing to learn to be at peace, to act with wisdom and to walk with patience and faith in my working power.
Do not believe the words that you are foolish or lack wisdom. Men say things like this all of the time, but I am the only judge. Come to me for true judgment on who you really are and cast aside the judgments of men. Someday they will be called to account for the name calling and unrighteous judgment they have hurled upon you and you them. Keep THAT in mind.
Do not let false words and judgments dominate your thinking. Let my light invade your soul and bring a revealing to the real you….not the you people want you to be. Step up and Step in…..but to what I have for you, not what others would make of you. See it.”
I have a lot to learn, and I am weary. But I will pay the cost of following you. I will learn to be Adam. I long to be in this quiet place, and to let the past be the past. To lay my mistakes and my pains on the altar and continue forward by your grace. To let all my life be a service unto his majesty. A poem of loveliness and beauty, of quietness and rest and most of all wisdom of My Lord and Savior. Let it be so in Me. Help me to get past these things.
October 13, 2011
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“Do you love me? Then keep your eyes on me and do what I place in front of you. The light is dawning on your soul and it reveals the landscape of your intention. But believe it or not, all of it is not bad. Furthermore, you place too much blame on yourself and read too much negativity into your situation. You have been trying so hard. Yes, you waffle too much. Yes, you procrastinate too much. But you also work hard and are steady and sure. Are these qualities to ignore or despise.
this is a process of learning for all sides. It is not just you humbling yourself and growing up, but others humbling themselves and growing too. oftentimes what you attribute to yourself is actually maturity that others need to have. Give yourself some grace. At the very least you went after what you wanted and even if you failed at least you went after it. That gives you a gold star in the end.
but results? Yes you’ll get results if you keep at it and refuse to give in to fear and running away. As it has been taught to you today….sometimes protecting yourself can be a selfish act. Being vulnerable to being hurt is the only way to open some doors. But Adam, in that too you have opened up and been strong. Does it not have an impact???? Does it not mean a thing in the course of events…..if not on their hearts, on mine?
I will make a way…..I will open a path. Not because you are perfect, but because I am willing. Remember Isaiah 54…..the time of mourning is over….the time of rejection is over…..it has done its work. You are ready as you’ll ever be. So place your hand in mine and let me reveal my intention. And if you have cause to not trust, remember….I told you beforehand what would happen so that you would know this was my process and not just to hurt you. Remember those words I spoke to you, I have in fact done this for your benefit. And for theirs.
It is really going to happen this time…..if you will trust me and step when the door opens. I know you will, even as your sister will do it too. Because deep down, you believe. And guess what….so do they.
It really is time. Rise up from the place where you have fallen and try again. Gather your courage and strength, draw upon the life of Christ and press forward into your destiny. The way has been hard, but the time draws nigh. As a champion you have come so far, and I wouldn’t have put this on anyone else. So rise up and press forward for my name’s sake. see your destiny is held in my hands. For it is. Take heart and take My hand once again and believe for the best.”
October 12, 2011
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Thank you Lord, you are kind
No one hears or knows
Where I am, what I am going through
Some see some parts
Some see other parts
But you see it all
I am glad that they don’t see
I am willing to be myself
To stand on my own two feet
To be strong and walk this path
Thank you.
Walk with me
Show me the way
Show me your paths
I will go too.
I thought I had a clue
But I do not.
My heart is broken
But you are there to heal me
My bones and body break
But you will carry me through.
Good things are coming
The furnace was hot, but necessary
I will follow, I will follow you
I will hear your voice
I will know your ways
I will listen
You will become my bread
And my song
I will not pursue fantasies
I will not pursue the wind
only your love and your breath
To be in my mouth.
Come Lord, and show me
Show me how to live, to breath
To worship again in the sanctuary
Let your love be greater than my life
Let it be my bread again
and I will follow
I will follow
I will follow you home.
