To His Majesty

I went grocery shopping with my mom and dad last night……..and it was very good for my heart. I have been depressed lately, but being with them and my sister was a huge pick me up. I like to hang out with them as we wander up and down the store aisles and see stuff. It reminds me of what is important in life…..relationships with people that really see you for who you are. I don’t have to fit into some slot for them……a lot of times in this world if you don’t fit into a particular slot people will treat you nice, but as someone who isn’t really valuable…..because your value comes out of what you can do rather than who you are.

I could do a lot of things……I have a TON of creative gifts…………but I am pursuing one thing…..something God put me on when I was 16………….and for some reason I cannot get off of this trail…….

He said to me “Adam, you can do what everyone else is doing, but that isn’t really useful to ME. Because if you do what everyone else is doing then when we get to the day of release and warfare NOBODY will be doing the one or two things that I need SOMEBODY to do in order to get to the next phase of what I want to do. I need for YOU to do one of those things that NOBODY IS DOING.”

You see the idea was that we are all trapped on this side of a revelation, in the wilderness with only so much power, so much understanding and so much ability to overcome. But if God can get someone to partner with Him to break through a realm in the Spirit. Once somebody breaks through that barrier, then others can access that realm. Its like when they broke the 1 minute mile, after that everyone could do it. I thought about being a forerunner and the idea of really making a difference……not only for me, but for the terrible onslaught of evil that I saw happen in all of the churches our family ministered to when I was growing up. I could really help our area break out of this barrier……….this barrier of seeing 10 percent of the people come to church and 90 percent not………..To really start a revolution and change things…….

So I said Yes.

Little did I know that the training would be so strange.  The first thing he had me practice was standing there……..yeah, that’s it……just stand there………and I am sure I could have done more…….but the core of His training was ‘learn to Stand there’.  I did that for 10 years……yeah 10 years standing there and learning to relate to God.  I guess the point of it was to teach me how to listen to Him…..because until you learn to stand and Be Still He won’t really have much to say to you.

Then in 1996, I started the shifting phase…….where I learned to watch what was going on in church and in people and He would explain to Me what is happening…….He taught me about fundamental agreement and how it shapes the church and releases His authority.  Here too, I probably could have done other things…..but the core of the training was to practice shifting, to watch, to learn the process……..

Now it’s 2007 and I wonder where we are going next……what will the next 10 year phase be on………Am I going to do something normal(wishful thinking…)? How does all of this standing and shifting figure into stuff…?

It’s true I am hearing on a level that I cannot believe through learning to stand and shift.  I am learning how to embrace His  heart for things and learning how to value people and look at circumstances from His point of view.  But I have thrown 20 years away following a trail the Lord has put me on, because He said to me it makes all the difference in the world………..Looking back, was it worth it?

Last night as I was hanging out with my parents, I realized it was.  I see more about where God is going, what God is going to do in the next 20 years than most people.  And I have a rare opportunity to hear the words “Come up Here!” and enter into heaven.  In spite of my faults and foibles………I have been prepared by the highest to walk in true authority……to heal, to work miracles, to save, to deliver, to have spiritual eyes to hear and spiritual eyes to see…………I get to be in the big dance with Jesus……….And more than that, I get to set His Children free and see them go running home to their Heavenly Father……For some of them, that is the first real family that they have ever had.

That makes this strange journey all worth it………

Right now in heaven the doorway to heaven is open.  And for those who have eyes to see and ears to hear, you can pursue that open door.  He is offering to say “Come up Here!” to anyone who is willing to pay the cost.  What is that cost?  Your identity in everything else…..your sense of self worth in all other things.  The need to be approved of, the need to be satisfied in earthly things, the need to be successful, the need to make a difference from man’s standpoint.

One of the things God has been working on Me about is bringing my needs down to one need:  Himself.  Like the Shulamite Bride  in the Song of Solomon, she is stripped layer by layer of her needs until all that is left is HIM.  And she comes out of the wilderness with her head on His shoulder…..and I believe He has given her the Key of David…..the Key to His heart.  That is what Song of Solomon Really is about……How to get the Key of David.

I love the Leonard Jones song off of the Worship Album “Dance into the Land”. Because it reminds me of my sister. I had a revelation concerning it when she was in surgery and I was praying for her. Some of the lyrics goes like this:

“Like David did, we will dance with all our might
Like Joshua, with a shout he won the fight
Like Miriam, with a timbrel in her hand,
We will dance into the land.”

my sister is a Miriam…..a prophetic percussionist………and when I prayed for her, I prayed in line with her destiny to fulfill and bring Glory to God. I prayed, “Lord, she’s your Miriam. And when we take this land, it is the tambourine players, the percussionists who will Lead the congregation of the saints as we dance into the land and conquer it.”

You have a destiny to fulfill Jesus’ destiny, Did you know that? These are the days when we will unleash the River of God and everything will change…..the next 2 years God is going to move and everything will change……..And everybody has a part in it………..

So this tuesday night I asked God to kill out of me everything that was standing in between Him and me……and boy oh boy…..He started Wednesday morning and I felt like I was being pulled through a knothole backward…………

As my sister said, “part of becoming holy is finding out how thoroughly stupid you are!”  And how thoroughly weak and helpless you really are at times.  You gotta face it if you want to be real and with God.  You have to face that there are things you just cannot overcome in your own strength…..you are not clever enough or fast enough or good looking enough……..and you ask yourself over  and over and over……..Why?

Because God has something much better in store for you.  Most of all, He wants to bring you to a place where you can see His Face and be changed into a different man or woman.  Where the plans He has for you can be FIRMLY established.  It’s not about cleverness or excellence or gifting, but surrender.  Everything He gives to you is simply about you learning to BE with Him…..they are not the end in of themselves.  He doesn’t even need your stuff to save the lost……….He can send angels out and have 25,000 of them at your doorstep tomorrow…….. It’s about you learning to do this WITH Him.

That is the heart of the matter of this journey with me…..He wants me to do this….but do it with Him……..So stand still Adam, Listen, Learn to shift and come into agreement, Learn to see the Hope of your calling and come into the presence of the King.  Let Him change you, impart to you his heart and calling, then let Him send you forth as a much loved Child and a Representative of the Kingdom.  He doesn’t need my work……because the work without the presence is pointless……its a waste of time……..but If I learn to come to Him….then the river of His heart flows through me and HE can bless His children through my life.

Imagine yourself holding a baby……and the child reaches up to touch your face and you reach down and place your hand on his head and bless him(or her).  You are the vehicle through which God lays His hands on His children and blesses them.  But as I learned….there is a part of me that must be gotten out of the way.  And in the end….I am thankful for the process to make it so.

So I am listening to this teaching from Larry Randolph about the Face of God.   He tells about how Isaiah is lifted up to heaven in the year that King Uzziah died.  King Uzziah had a successful kingdom and lots of giftings and anointing…..but in his pride he presumed to step across the boundaries of protocol and got leprosy as a result.

Larry was saying that there is a King Uzziah in all of us that needs to die.  And I prayed a prayer tuesday nite that basically gave God permission to do that.   It’s not so much that we don’t want Him to do it….but he uses people and circumstances to do it and that is hard.  Kind of like today…….I don’t like facing myself……but I need to if I want to see the Lord’s face……….so heaven help me, bring it on……I need this.

I want to grow, to learn and to live.  I want to be  a servant and a worshipper and a man of God…..what does it take?  It takes a willingness to embrace the flame, make mistakes, be exposed, fail and be humiliated and drawn into the press where the junk can be gotten out of my life and God can be exalted.  Where I can be liberated from the fear of man into the fear of God and His Love for me…..that is what I want….really…….and I take heart even in the worst of times and the largest of my mistakes that they can be used for His Glory…..

but God, give me the grace to get through these times……..